Twisted pork or sustainable slow food

They all lied. I feel cheated. It was a normal day like any other - I took Friday off work I dropped off my laundry and went to do some shopping at the new Tesco. I picked couple of things that cannot be found nowhere else in town - chickpea, ground coffee, passion fruit juice, then went to the meat section to pick up some marinated pork and headed towards the cashier. At that moment I felt an urge to do something different, something that I've never done before - I went back to the meat section I put the meat back on the shelve. Then I saw them. They were sitting there on the side of the shelve. They were STRAIGHT as straight can be. Pig tails. Eeeeh? All my live I lived convinced that pigs have twisted tails. I didn't make it up myself. What about Piglet and Pepa Pig - were they yet another images of distorted reality that they want us to believe in? Why would they lie like to us that? Well, the truth is that human minds are full of surprises and we will probably never find out why.

From the age that we become conscious individuals the world is feeding us with disappointment uncovering its true image. First you find out that the Santa doesn't exist (and any magic in general) then you graduate and find out that higher education doesn't necessarily open all the golden doors of opportunities and now it's the pigs' tails. That's it. It was a killer. I've had enough. Where are alternative universes when you need them?

Anyway, I decided I'm going to take these pig tails home and cook them in an act of manifesto against mendacity.

What other causes can eating pigtails support?

• food sustainability - eating all parts of the animal supports reducing food waste, so if you are not a vegetarian pig tails are for you
• slow food - pig tails are definitely not a fast food, they need from 1.5 to 2h to cook

Smoked pig tails in wine

Ingredients (serves 2*):
- 2 smoked pig tails
- 200ml of wine
- 1 carrot cut in large chunks
- 1 shallot cut in fours
- 500ml of stock
- salt and pepper
- spoonful of olive oil (adds flavour)
- spoonful of regular oil (prevents burning)
- if you live anywhere in the west you may want to add bay leaf and thyme

1. Sprinkle the tails with salt and pepper and leave in the fridge overnight
2. For this cooking session you will need couple of CDs, I start with Gramma by Lana del Rey
3. Fry the carrot and shallot in the oil mix until brown
4. Add the pigtails and brown from all sides
5. Pour wine and stock and leave simmering and covered for 1.5h
6. Check if the meat is soft if not leave for further 30min, if all the liquid evaporated already at this point simply add water
7. Leave the tails out to cool for 15min or so, remove the fat and peal the meat off the bone (be careful as the bones are quite small an easy to overlook.
8. Serve the meat with gravy from cooking and greens of your liking. I used potatoes and broccoli.
9. Enjoy in a good company with a glass(es) of wine (gourmet style) or beer (Bavarian style)

*it's a gourmet meal so you'll probably need a dessert or a starter to fell full, or both